controversial opinions, part 1

alright. friends.

i’ve stayed publicly silent on this great debate for long enough. i can’t in good conscience stay silent any longer. i will warn you, though, my views may not match the black and white painting of the issue that you’re familiar with.

pineapple on pizza is good

whew; that felt good to say.

hawaiian pizza is bullshit

relative to other combinations of pineapple and [meat].

pineapple and pepperoni. and bacon. pineapple and literally anything other than ham.

ham is boring. it provides sustenance, but it doesn’t pop. i’m veering dangerously close to dudebro reverence of bacon here, and i want to be clear — that is not me. consider me reverent of pepperoni, but only good and spicy pepperoni, like Conte’s in Princeton use. that’s some good shit.

please address all complaints about this content to Garrett Fondoules